Let's try to define two prototypes: the Pick Up Artist (PUA) and the 'ladies man'. It's important that you know who you are and what you want out of the whole 'game' thing that you put so much effort into.


Most of us are somewhere in between, however describing the two prototypical extremes will help demonstrate the concept. For those who are more meticulous, the names (PUA and ladies man) aren't really important. What's important is the types of personality I'm trying to describe rather than how I named them. So let's keep our eyes on the ball and begin.


In short, the extreme PUA is concerned mostly with his 'game'. The 'ladies man' is concerned mostly with women.


Instead of trying to theoretically elaborate, let me give you two examples that will demonstrate this. These examples are true stories by the way.


First example: a PUA is in a club and not doing anything special at that certain moment, when a truly hot girl comes on to him. No logical reason why, she just does. She's a bit drunk, she wants to have fun tonight, she's in a good mood, she thinks he's cute. She lets him know that she wants to take him home.


The PUA refuses. Why? He believes "this is not solid game". He didn't "run game" to get the girl, he didn't prove his skill, he just got lucky. Maybe it was more than luck, maybe it was his vibe shining through and attracting her. Chances are she didn't choose him in a totally random manner. But since he cannot define scientifically (or pseudo-scientifically at least) why he gained her, he does not want her.


As far as he's concerned, he did not hone or display his pickup skills by taking her home and thus he gains almost nothing by spending the night with her. Well he does gain something, sex with a hot girl is fun, but it's more important to him to stay in the club and prove or hone his skills tonight.


Second example, even more extreme and but yet again taken from reality:


A guy has a girlfriend. He's having a great time with her and he cherishes every moment with her. And yet he wants to be a PUA, so he forces himself to dump her because he believes a PUA should bed X women a month so to maintain his title, and the girlfriend is getting in the way. Furthermore, he asks around the PUA community how long is he allowed(!) to stay with his girlfriend and still qualify as a PUA.


These are obviously extreme examples but once again they help to demonstrate the concept. The extreme PUA is concerned with his GAME. He takes pride in his pickup skills. Ultimately, this is what he is about: his skills. I'm not judging him harshly for it, I'm just describing the situation.


Many of you have read Neil Strauss' book "The Game", where he says that his quest stopped being about women and started being all about skill. This can serve as another example.


Let's move on to the ladies man.


The 'ladies man' is in the game for a different reason. He is in the game for WOMEN. He is not gaming for the sake of game, and, his objective is not GETTING THE GIRL. His objective is THE GIRL. I hope you see the subtle but yet not so subtle difference.


What the ladies man truly wants is to spend time with women. This can be romantic, sexual or any kind of quality time. His quest is not for skill. He will never pass on a night with a hot girl just because it fell in his lap in a seamless manner. And he will never dump a girlfriend he's having a great time with because staying with her means that he is not a full time professional player. He's in it for the women, not for the game.


He understands though, that in order to obtain women, he needs to have 'some game' and some skill. That's reality.


So he acquires as much game as he needs, but the quality of his game does not concern him. He does not go over the top with it. What really concerns him is the women. He loves the company of women - and even if it's solely for sex, he is still concentrated on the GIRLS, not on the GAME.


People often ask: 'how do I get in state? how do I get myself on fire so to pickup girls?'


The answer would be - stop concentrating on yourself and on your game and start concentrating on the girls. When you see a hot girl, that should put your hormones on fire. Voila - you're in state. If you want a girlfriend and you see the cutest girl - that should get you charged up - voila, you're in state again.


Let this happen and ride it. If when you see a hot girl what immediately jumps into your mind is flowcharts of tactics ("game"), you will never get in state.


The girls will provide you with all the state you need. It's the natural order of things - your desire for what you want gets you motivated and charged up, especially when what you want is physically standing right there in front of you.


 


So anyway, who is "better", the PUA or the 'ladies man'?


I don't think it is really possible to answer that, but let me give you another example, that will demonstrate a related important concept.


Take 2 guys.


One claims to be a PUA. He spends hours and hours each day for months or even years perfecting his game, by study and by practice. He manages to improve and achieve a "hit rate" of, say, 1 to 7 (he beds 1 of 7 girls that he approaches), or even higher.


The second guy is not concerned with his 'pickup skills'. But he does crave women. He does not study pickup artistry. But he approaches a lot, since his desire for women drives him to approach.


He approaches somewhat crudely and without a truly noticeable skill. He just tries to show his best side, without thinking about it too much. He approaches on his way to work, when he's out with his friends, he just approaches as an integral part of his life.


He wants women so he tries to get them, it's as simple as that. He doesn't spend too much time, energy or resources on girls that don't give him what he wants, so he knows how to 'cut his losses'. And at the bottom line he achieves a hit rate of, let's say, 1 to 50 (with girls of the same quality as the PUA).


Since he doesn't spend so much time and effort on perfecting his pickup skills, he has these resources free to do other things: sports, career, hobbies, reading, traveling, charity work, spending time with real friends, and actually spending quality time with the girls that he meets and connects with (mentally and/or sexually).


Which person would you appreciate more?


 


I believe that almost all of us started our pickup education journey in order to get more and higher quality women. However, some of us just got carried away in other directions along the way, and became more concerned with the means to the goal rather than with the end goal itself.


It's important that you ask yourself "why am I doing this for". What do you wish to gain out of all this. Do you really want superb pickup skills? Is this truly what you desire? Or do you want the company (sexual company included of course) of great women?


If it's women that you want, you don't need superb pickup skills. You just need a few issues sorted out within you, and a small amount of outer game, that's all. If you realize that, you can free a vast amount of your time, energy and mental resources for yourself.


Furthermore, at some point, ever growing pickup skills start to stand in your way of enjoying women. It sucks too much out of you to grow and maintain these skills, and the lifestyle and emotional sacrifices that these skills require actually stand in the way of enjoying women in fullest.


A classic example of all of this would be the 'approach machine'.


In order to meet women you need to approach them, obviously. So you need to be able to approach. But many guys take this a few totally unnecessary steps further - they try to become 'approach machines', to be able to approach any girl at any time in any situation. It becomes a challenge and a goal all by itself.


This is not necessary at all in order to get hot quality women. And moreover, it will actually eventually stand in your way.


It will stand in your way because being an approach machine requires an emotional price. You cannot maintain this without building certain emotional walls or emotional tactics to allow you to do this consistently without mentally collapsing.


In turn, these emotional walls actually stand in your way of connecting with women. You cannot instantly turn these walls on and off upon demand. We simply do not possess this kind of precise control over our emotions and unconscious mind.


In other words, pushing your approach skills too far ends up standing in your way at later stages of the interaction, after the approach. The bottom line is that they stand in your way of getting women. So you have achieved your goal of being an approach machine, at the expense of your goal of getting women.


Paradoxical huh. This holds true for any pickup skill that you over-extend.


 


Another important point you may want to consider is the following. To be good with women means that you should comfortably be able to have girls of quality in your life, when you want them.


The key word here is COMFORTABLY.


It should become a seamless part of the flow of your life. You should be able to go about your life, your career, your hobbies, your personal life, and be able to obtain and enjoy the company of quality girls as an integral part of it all.


If in order to get women you need to sacrifice many other aspects of your life, then you achieved little. If you need to spend the bulk of the day studying 'pickup arts', adopt artificial personalities that have nothing to do with you, recite canned scripts every time you talk to a girl, and finally, constantly make effort to maintain your state at super high levels because that's the only way you appear attractive or are able to function around women, then you have in fact not made picking up women an integral part of your life.


All you managed to do is to learn how to put yourself in an artificial mode in which you are able to get girls, but since this mode is not really you, it requires very high maintenance, so high that you literally have to sacrifice most of your being to keep it running.


Once you let go of this artificial mode, all of a sudden you can't get women anymore. Assume for example you have to do your semester exams. You mentally go 'offline' for a few weeks, forget about game and all. Once you're back 'online' all of a sudden you can't get women.


You need to go back to the ebooks, DVD's, and state pumping methods so to achieve that artificial superman mode again in order to get women. Once you let go of that mode you're no good.


The 'ladies man', on the other hand, will probably get the most amount of women the very same day his semester exams are over. Because that's when he'll be the most horny and crave women the most, after spending so much time with his studies.


It's something to think about.


 


So it is important that you ask yourself:


- Why am I in the game for? Do I want women or do I want perfect game?


Do not impose someone else's goals on yourself.


There is only a certain amount of game required to get quality women. And it's really not that much. Adjust your behavior accordingly.


Don't force yourself to be a Pickup Artist if it's not what you want. You can have an abundance of hot girls without being a pickup artist. The two are almost unrelated.


And you should also ask yourself:


- Is maintaining game requires me to sacrifice a significant part of my life?


If so, then you are maintaining 'artificial game'. Let go of all the acting and learn to become an attractive person. Do it in a way that integrates into your natural personality, so it won't require a consistent high effort to maintain. Then you will be able to free yourself to live your life.


Don't get me wrong - staying vibrant, social and attractive does require certain constant effort and care. Especially if your daily life is somewhat mundane. However, just like in the 'approach machine' example, know to distinguish when you are taking it too far and this no longer serves, or even sabotages your true goal.


And finally - you should get all the energy and mental fire you need, from your desire for women.


And if you don't feel this desire, then ask yourself why that is. Maybe you don't dare to feel it because you believe that you can never fulfill that desire.


If you have that fear then the path is simple. Having that very desire combined with a small amount of 'game' and an attractive personality will get you all the hot and quality women you need.


You can go about acquiring these traits by yourself (which is a very rewarding and empowering quest), and you can use external help (pickup education resources) to assist you.


The choices are yours. Do your thing.


Gigi