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A New Style of Openers by Tyler

 


Opinion openers were popularized in 2003 by yours truly.

I heard the 'I need a female opinion on something' somewhere, tested it out, and started using it as a prefix to many of my openers. Over the next three years it became used by pretty much everybody. These days there are a lot of questions on them.. 'Are opinion-openers still cool? Are they outdated?'


Anyway, a few 100% unbiased PROS and CONS to demystify this whole deal..


PROS:

1- You can stop big, moving groups of girls with them.

2- You can start conversations with guy/girl groups without tripping out the guy.

3- You can approach at 5AM on dark, creepy streets more easily than 'Hey I'm Tyler..'

4- You can yell down girls from across the bar to come over and answer a question for you.

5- MOST IMPORTANT: It gives girls an excuse to talk to you.. That goes for both lack of intelligence (many attractive girls are incapable of holding a conversation however if you give them an easy topic they can speak on it) as well as giving her to option to say to her over-protective friends 'I'm just answering his question!!'


CONS:

1- Doesn't call upon the girls to be 'contributive' in terms of their mental energy being expended, so can make it difficult to transition into back-and-forth conversation.

2- You may get 'stuck' on the opener because you can't think of anything to say beyond it, and if you don't transition off of the opener fast enough then as soon as the conversation winds down in resolution there will be a noticeable 'dip' in the energy level and the girl will instinctively walk off (girls tend to interpret any dip in energy as a loss in attraction).

3- Mentally, you associate your opener as the type used by 'one of those newbie newrock-wearing lair chodes' and therefore you feel like a retard using them, which causes them not to work because you lack conviction or even cringe using them.. They will also come across as 'fake' and 'contrived' if you lack 100% congruence, and that can be tricky if the opener is not actually something you're curious to hear their opinions about.

4- Does absolutely nothing to teach you social skills in a non-anonymous/non-club environment.. If you go to a party you feel a knee-jerk reaction to bust out an opinion opener which causes you to become 'One of those weird guys who you have to keep away from at the party because he runs around spitting canned material and can't chill with people..'

5- Breeds terrible habits as a newbie because you become an external validation junkie and can't hold your state unless you're getting constant laughs and buying temperature.

As a result you're permanently blocked from ever opening by just introducing yourself (a perfectly awesome way of opening) because you're scanning for indicators of interest and not getting them and it's messing with your internal calibration - even though attraction right off the opener is totally unnecessary.

As you guys know I'm always evolving in how I approach women and how I teach.

I still think these openers can be cool, but IMHO they *must* be mixed in and taught with a *variety* of other openers, including..


-Introducing yourself

-Opening with absolutely ridiculous comments (ala 'I like salad')

-Poking the girl and just standing there staring until she giggles and opens you

-Ripping the girl over to you

-Asking questions about the environment

-Demanding she qualify herself to you (ala 'WHO ARE YOU')

-Complimenting (yes, I said complimenting.. it works.. 'go in chode and then explode'..)

-Opening by dancing (awesome.. I learned it this year and *love* it)

-Making funny rocker symbols and just throwing them up to the girl

-Pouncing over to the girl in a comical flying leap

-Waving your hands over-enthusiastically (somewhat like a mentally challenged individual - hands at head level and just wave at the wrist), which is absolutely hilarious with a super hot girl who takes herself very seriously..

etc etc..

All of these are great, and most importantly, force you to BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY as opposed to looking for a guru to tell you it's good enough.

The fact of the matter is that if you believe in it, you're expressing your personality, you're saying it primarily to offer value to the vibe and not to get a reaction, and you're outside your head - WHATEVER YOU SAY WILL WORK.

I'm cool with teaching technique and see a lot of value in it, as long as it's not conceived in the individual's mind as being the FOUNDATION for attraction - which it's absolutely not.

The big freak show since 'the book' has been a shift in community perspective that technique is a sort of magic pill that somehow 'bypasses' the need to be a cool, powerful, badass fukkin' dude.

A natural snapback has been abandonment of all technique by a lot of guys because it's associated with the weirdos who try to base their 'game' around it like Dungeons & Dragons lords of the nightclub.

If you're curious about where I stand on this, btw - I find myself in the middle, in that I teach 80% 'how to be a guy who gets attraction by *being* rather than *doing*' and about 20% 'technique' - which I believe is the absolutely crucial 20% that produces immediate, tangible results.

Have fun!!
Tyler




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Comments on the article

  
 

by nick on January 02, 2008 19:041


What can I say.. the guy keeps 'em coming.. :)

 

by real-L on August 20, 2008 02:462


What does an 'opinion opener or not opinion opener' has to do with social skill or reaction seeking? 
 
I use opinion opener because it doesn't 'shock' the girl and she doesn't freak out. Some people like to meet girls NOT in a club where everybody's drunk and the more dumbass you behave the better. 
 
FYI, "natural" Tyler.

 

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